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The following was published in the Sunday Times on 30th Dec 2007:

Sunday Times 30 Dec 2007
A Kung Fu Casino Christmas
by Colin Goh

So the Wife came home last week from her Shaolin class, and asked if we could host a Christmas party for the monks.

“They’re very poor thing, lah,” she explained. “They’re so young, new to America and far from home, so a bunch of us students thought it would be nice to cheer them up. And since our place is closest to the school…”

“Well, okay,” I said, sucking air through my clenched teeth as I wondered how to fit the 15 or so people into our puny place. “I understand it’s really bad karma to say there’s no room at the inn around this time of the year.”  And you certainly wouldn’t want to upset guys who can fly through the air and kick you into the middle of next week.
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The following was published in the Sunday Times on 16 Dec 2007:

Sunday Times 16 December 2007
All I want for Christmas is to stop shopping
by Colin Goh

Since this is my last column before Christmas, I thought I’d write something apropos of the season.

There was a time when the highlight of Christmas for me was going for the candlelight service in church.  I was born into a Christian family, studied in a mission school, and for a brief period in my life even voluntarily attended theological classes during my spare time, which may come as a surprise for the not inconsiderable number of you out there who believe I’m the devil incarnate.

But as I grew older, and especially since coming to the US, I’ve become increasingly disenchanted with religious groups, even my own.  The wilful ignorance, hypocrisy and even hatefulness peddled by the fundamentalist religious right in America have made it really difficult for me to participate in any church activities. (I realize that this in itself may be contributing to the problem, but that’s a whole other thesis beyond the scope of these pages.)

Anyway, a couple of winters back, while ducking from the cold at a Starbucks in New York’s East Village, I encountered a preacher whose message hit me harder than a month of Sunday sermons.  His name was Reverend Billy, and he was from the Church of Stop Shopping.
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The following was published in the Sunday Times on 2 December 2007:

Sunday Times 2 Dec 2007
Betrayed by my darling Maling
by Colin Goh

It now seems like every week, some made-in-China product is being recalled or banned for reasons of toxicity or unsafe manufacture. So far it hadn’t really affected me: dog food, Thomas the Tank Engine toys, Shir toothpaste and kohl eye shadow aren’t generally on my regular shopping lists.

But things finally hit home a few days ago, when I read how Singapore’s Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority, after having detected traces of a banned antibiotic, had suspended the import of pork products from the Chinese factory which produces the Maling line of canned piggy comestibles.

“Noooo! Not Maling too!” I wailed to the Wife, adopting a pose very similar to the anguished soldier on the poster of Oliver Stone’s 1986 film, ‘Platoon’. Continue Reading »

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Sunday Times: Maid in Japan

The following was published in the Sunday Times on 18 November 2007:

Sunday Times 18 November 2007
Maid in Japan
by Colin Goh

“A what café?” I said to my friend Ichi-san while visiting Tokyo three weeks ago. (‘Ichi’ is not his real name. To avoid potential embarrassment, I’ve had to fudge certain bits to protect the identities of those involved.)

“A maid café,” replied Ichi-san. “A café where the waitresses are dressed like French maids, with short black dresses and white frilly aprons. And address you as ‘Master’.”

I’d asked Ichi-san to take me on an insider’s tour of Tokyo: no touristy museums, temples or designer malls. I wanted to see where regular Tokyoites go – and perhaps glimpse the source of how they’ve managed to inspire and influence so many people worldwide, myself included. Now I was wondering if I’d be biting off more than I could chew.
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Hello friends,

We are proud to announce that our multiple-award winning Singaporean film, SINGAPORE DREAMING 美满人生, is premiering on Friday, November 9th, 2007 in Taipei and Kaohsiung.

SINGAPORE DREAMING 美满人生 is the first Singapore film to have a commercial release in Taiwan since ‘I Not Stupid’ in 2002, and is a great opportunity for Singaporeans based in Taiwan to experience a slice of home, as well as share it with their Taiwanese friends.

SINGAPORE DREAMING 美满人生has been compared favourably to the works of the great Taiwanese directors Ang Lee and Edward Yang, and has won three major international awards to date, including the prestigious Best Asian/Middle Eastern Film Award at the recent Tokyo International Film Festival.

In Taipei, it will play at the Shin Kong Multiplex 長春戲院 新光影城
In Kaohsiung, it will play at 喜滿客夢時代影城

Screening times and details can be found at: http://blog.yam.com/dreaming1109

If you have friends or family in Taiwan, please let them know about our premiere! It’s an extremely rare event for an indie Singapore film to open commercially in Taiwan, and we want as many people as possible to see it! Thanks!

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The following was published in the Sunday Times on 4 November 2007:

Sunday Times 4 Nov 2007
Playing With Oneself in Tokyo
by Colin Goh

So I was recently in Tokyo for the Tokyo International Film Festival, and I really must thank everyone out there who sent the Wife and I your congrats on our very unexpected win.

In this regard, I was amused to note that many of you sent us virtual drinks. While grateful for the generous (?) sentiment, I must admit that, in this age of Second Life and online avatars, I did spend a few seconds wondering whether it was advisable to drink while driving down the information superhighway…

Now ordinarily, like most of you, I would have found the preceding statement not just corny, but retarded. After visiting Japan and witnessing the commingling of fantasy and reality, however, I’m not so sure.
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Alice's daughter Leng Yeng receiving the Best Asian/Middle Eastern Film Award on our behalf

So there I am, back in NYC, comatose from jet lag when I get a phone call at 5.30 am in the morning… I panic. At this hour, what kind of phone call can bring good news? But it’s Alice Lim, who plays ‘Ma’ in Singapore Dreaming… she’s saying something in Mandarin, but my jet-lag addled brain and condemned Mandarin can’t entirely parse it.

Then it seeps in… She’s saying congratulations. Barely 16 hours after I’d left Japan, I’m being told that Singapore Dreaming just became the first ever Singapore film to win the Best Asian/Middle Eastern Film Award at the Tokyo International Film Festival.
As I’d already flown off, the Festival asked if we had anyone in Tokyo who could represent us at the awards ceremony. As it turns out, Alice’s daughter Leng Yeng is stationed there… perfect! (That’s her above, holding our award. Yen and I think she looks so glamorous, she should represent us at every awards ceremony…)

We’re still reeling from the news. We can’t believe our little film had a hope of winning over all the other tua liap directors! (SGD was competing in the Winds of Asia-Middle East category, which included films like ‘Exodus’ by Hong Kong director Pang Ho Cheung and starring Simon Yam; ‘Breath’ by South Korean auteur Kim Ki Duk; ‘The Wall Passer’ by Taiwan’s Hung Hung; ‘Mad Detective’ by Hong Kong’s Johnny To; ‘Cut and Paste’ by Egypt’s Hala Khalil; and ‘A Few Days Later’ by Iranian superstar Niki Karimi. If we even suspected we had a chance, I’d definitely have hung around for the end of the Fest…

Thank you, Tokyo jury! Thank you, TIFF! Thank you, audiences! Thank you, investors, actors, crew, distributors, sales agent and everyone who helped make our dream come true!

Now we shall go eat sushi in celebration…

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We had a great full-house premiere in Taipei, as the closing film of the Women Make Waves Film Festival, ahead of our commercial run on November 9 in Taipei and Kaohsiung!

Our star Yeo Yann Yann (recently of ‘881′ fame) flew in to add some glamour to the screening and was mobbed for autographs for an hour afterwards!

Singapore singing superstar Tanya Chua also very generously came to say some nice words about the film and share some Singaporean pride. Everyone, please go and buy her great new album “Hello and Goodbye”!

More great reviews from the Taiwanese press here

Thank you, Taiwan - for all the great hospitality and friendliness you’ve shown us! We’ll be back for sure!

Singaporeans, if you have friends in Taiwan, please tell them to see our little film when it opens on 9 November in Taipei and Kaohsiung - we’re the first Singapore film to get a commercial release in Taiwan since 2002’s ‘I Not Stupid’, so we need all the support we can get!

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The following was published by the Sunday Times on 21 October 2007:

Sunday Times 21 Oct 2007
A Tale of Twisted Tongues in Taiwan
by Colin Goh

The Wife and I are in Taipei, where tonight, our film, Singapore Dreaming, will be having its Taiwanese premiere at the Women Make Waves Film Festival, ahead of a commercial theatrical release in a couple of weeks.  We’re a little chuffed, as it’ll be the first Singapore movie since 2002’s ‘I Not Stupid’ to get a commercial release here, and also because we’ll be sharing a distributor with Hou Hsiao Hsien, one of our filmmaking idols.

It’s our first time in Taiwan, and we’re feeling a wee bit strange, because there’s so much that we’re finding familiar as Singaporeans, and yet, the slight variations make the differences really jump out.  For example, the popular oyster omelette that Singaporeans refer to as ‘oh luak’ or ‘oh jian’ is called ‘e-a jian’ here. (Pronounced ‘uh-ah jian’.)  And it’s served with sauce on top.  For overseas Singaporeans like us, Taipei is a refracted view of home.

Perhaps the biggest difference is hearing Hokkien (or ‘Hoklo’ as it’s referred to here) spoken everywhere, even in the mass media. Unlike Singapore, Hoklo is not only not restricted, it’s positively flourishing under the current government.

But it’s not the same Hokkien that our friendly neighbourhood ah bengs speak.  Hoklo may share the same roots, but according to linguistics experts, it’s become a distinct language by itself, with a unique vocabulary, distinct philology and even sub-dialects of its own.  We had a personal brush with this when we encountered the local equivalent of a seven-syllable epithet involving the genitalia of one’s maternal parent that is well-known to all Singaporeans, especially those who have undergone national service.  The Hoklo counterpart, you might be interested to know, has only six syllables. (As this is a family paper, I won’t tell you which one.)

The Taiwanese were similarly intrigued by the linguistic variation in the dialogue in Singapore Dreaming.  In every press interview or event, there was genuine interest about our Hokkien, and especially our Singlish. We were really caught off-guard by this.  We never thought of Singlish as a marketing point, as we’d assumed that Taiwanese audiences would all just be reading the perfectly grammatical Mandarin subtitles, so the Singlish dialogue would be bypassed as mere babble.  But we were wrong.  Everyone wanted to talk about it.

When giving a talk at a local university, the entire English and Linguistics department turned up to quiz us about Singlish. Far from dismissing it as inferior, one professor lamented how the Taiwanese equivalent had not evolved as much as Singlish; it didn’t even have a name. “Taiwanglish?” he ventured. “Taiglish?”  In his classroom, he uses vernacular English to make English come alive for his students, and thus make it easier to teach its variance with standard grammar. Another professor also said he felt having a vernacular English was evidence of a creative populace. A few students even expressed jealousy that we had Singlish, just as China had Chinglish, and Latin America Spanglish.  They started talking about wanting to document their very own “-glish”.

While we are proud Singlish advocates, when we’re overseas, we are always careful to talk about how Singapore’s emphasis on maintaining grammatical English through campaigns such as the Speak Good English Movement has also helped Singaporeans engage in the global flow of business and people. When we brought this up, however, the academics began debating whether the title ‘Speak Good English Movement’ was, in fact, grammatical.

The fascination with Singaporean language continued during radio interviews, where the hosts got really excited about how we don’t use ‘shichang’ for market, but rather, ‘basha’ or ‘pasat’, which we inherited from the Persian ‘bazaar’, by way of Malay.  And everyone got into a linguistic lather when it was discovered that ‘soap’ in both Hokkien and Hoklo is ‘sabun’, which is derived from the Portuguese.  Said one host, “It’s so fascinating that you can trace the history of a people, just by looking at its language.”

We’re often made to feel that our hybrid language is something about which we should be embarrassed.  Our unexpected experience here in Taiwan, however, has reinforced my belief that it is actually a cultural asset, because it makes us unique and interesting in a way that say, having very clean streets can’t.  After all, for us, it’s opened doors, initiated conversations and even invited envy abroad.  Not bad for a chapalang tongue, leh!

On Tuesday, Singapore Dreaming will be competing at the Tokyo International Film Festival for the Best Asian/Middle Eastern Film Award.

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We’re urging all of you to sign up to repeal the manifestly unfair section 377A of the Penal Code.

Some of my GLBT friends have been bugging me to write about this in my ST column for ages, but I have to keep telling them I can’t.

In 2004, before this movement to repeal section 377A began, I wrote about the possibility of decriminalising oral sex altogether (which fell under section 377, not ‘A’ - the one that’s actually being amended), and the State’s Times nixed the piece. I highly doubt they’d allow me to target 377A either.

Anyway, below is a peek at the rejected piece, published for the first time here. It’s been superseded by the impending amendment of 377, and doesn’t concern homosexuality at all. It does, however, suggest that the so-called ‘pragmatic’ approach (which is often cited to justify maintaining our conservative ‘values)’ is often hypocritical and divorced from reality, and that to prop up the speculative feelings of some shadowy moral majority, we have to engage in logical contortions that are even more twisted than the physical ones engaged in by Tony Leung and Tang Wei in Lust, Caution.  The piece is dated, but you might find it fun. For a more persuasive and personal appeal about repealing 377A, read this.
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