Colin Goh and Woo Yen Yen

This article was published in the Sunday Times on 25 March 2007. I always find these alarmist pieces annoying. Guess it comes from being a comics fan and knowing something about the history of alarmism over youth pursuits, like Fredric Wertham’s Seduction of the Innocent campaign which set comics back by generations:

Sunday Times 25 March 2007
Going Overboard Over the Dark Side
by Colin Goh

When I read the article warning parents about the growing popularity of the ‘emo’ trend, I felt a twinge of déjà vu. Looking at the description of today’s ‘emo’ teens – wearing dark t-shirts, listening to gloomy music, writing doom-laden poetry – it could very well have been me in the late 80s.

I, too, had a wardrobe of ONLY black t-shirts, much to my parents’ consternation, especially around Chinese New Year. Musically, when most of my peers were into Rick Astley, my miscreant friends and I could be found blasting dirges like the Sisters of Mercy’s ‘This Corrosion’ on our ‘mini-compos’. Meanwhile, my diaries were full of self loathing, self pity and tortured ramblings on whether anybody would care if I shuffled off this mortal coil. The only thing keeping me from being an out and out Goth (the precursor to the emo’s) was my weight; it’s hard to look like you’re dying of consumption when you’re a fatty bom bom.

All of this was despite coming from a loving, middle-class family, doing okay in school and not indulging in chemical supplements. It would have been perfectly understandable for my parents to have put me in therapy. But I’m glad they didn’t.

Because through the ages, many teens pass through an angsty, rebellious phase. This may seem trite, but it bears repeating as alarmism invariably accompanies any new lifestyle trend, and overreaction often results.

Part of the reason for adolescent misery is hormonal. In a recent edition of the journal Nature Neuroscience, scientists reported that the hormone tetrahydropregnanalone (THP for short), which calms adults and young children, actually works in reverse with pubescents. For cheem scientific reasons beyond the scope of this column, THP makes teens moody, defiant, and want to buy albums by bands with names like Cattle Decapitation or Carcass.

But it’s also partly by design. Everyone reaches a point where they question their identity and their relationship with the world around them. It’s even more understandable if you somehow feel apart from your peers, whether because of looks, grades or achievements. You want to know why the world doesn’t value you, and wrestle with whether you should resign yourself to this injustice, or fight it. At the very least, you’re tempted to see how far you can push the status quo.

Re-reading my teen diaries now, I sometimes wonder if I was the same person. I recall feeling the strong emotions, but they seem almost trivial in hindsight. Did I just grow up? But what exactly is growing up and when did it happen?

For me, it probably began when I went to university, and stopped hanging out with just people of the same age, background and demographic. Seeing people who’d passed through the phases I was undergoing gave me perspective, and witnessing the diversity of experience that life affords also made me see options other than solipsism. In other words, being glum became very sian.

Also, I came to realize that youth communities, whether Goth, punk, emo, or whatever comes next, are just as reductive, restrictive and artificially-constructed as any other social grouping. As the singular struggle of teenhood is ‘authenticity’, realizing you’re just another brick in the wall makes you come to your senses pretty quickly.

So despite the persistence of the circumstances that made me feel lousy as a teen (I’m still broke, overweight and pursuing activities that befuddle my friends and family – you try explaining that at 36, you’ve given up a lucrative professional career to run an unprofitable website called ‘TalkingCock.com’), I’m very much happier as an adult.

I concede, however, that the characteristic act of cutting oneself sets ‘emo’ apart from prior teen trends, and is of genuine concern. However, I hope parents won’t be too quick to jump to conclusions about their teens over other manifestations, like writing depressing blogs or wearing their hair over their face like the chick from ‘The Ring’ who crawls out of TVs.

I really feel we shouldn’t try too hard to shield kids from anything potentially unpleasant or undesirable – whether it’s antisocial music, nihilistic comics, Harry Potter or their first love (you know, the one who’s first to break their heart). It’s more important to engage and discuss things sensibly.

Throwing out Girl-Girl’s Alexisonfire CDs won’t make her see the light. In fact, it’s more likely to get her back up. But talking to her about how at one point in your life, you too were misunderstood, wore clothes your parents kao peh’d about, loved someone who didn’t love you back, and used to listen to Joy Division probably will.

All of us must pass through the Dark before we see the Dawn.

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